Taking a deep breath.. .. ..

These past few weeks have been such a whirlwind!! I am dizzy from it all.

First, work has been CRAZY. I have been sooo busy. And my boss is going out on surgery next week, which makes him stressed. He gets all wiry and like a Tasmanian devil spinning out of control. So he's been adding to the headaches of everyone else around here. We had a large tour yesterday, so everything had to be perfect for that. I have AP to do and purchasing to finish up. OH and the temp we offered my job to hasn't called back, so it looks like we're back to the drawing board ... with only 7 weeks until my due date. IF I make it all the way to the end!!! I know all things work out, but sheesh.

Then the kids ... Jonah is having another one of *those* weeks. He's whiny and complains if I ask him to help. He's irritable and mean towards his brother and me. I swear, boys get PMS too!!! These hormones are driving me nuts and I know it's just beginning!!! AGH, Lord help me. LOL. Don't get me wrong, he's a great kid, but sometimes I just want to shake him and ask him what the heck he's thinking??!!

Logan is having a hard time. He's consistently getting 3+ corners a day at daycare. He just won't listen and he's being aggressive and mean toward some of the other kids. He wants 100% of the attention from Ms. Cathie, but he wants everyone else to leave him alone. He has pushed around one of the little kids quite often and he's just not listening!!! At home he has been throwing fits and sitting on time out quite a bit. Every night he begs to sleep with me. He asks me all the time if I'll come back. UGH, it's just heartbreaking. I think it might be catching up to him and maybe it's time for him to start counseling, too.. .. ..

I am finally wearing down some too. I guess I'm to that point in pregnancy where it's a little inevitable. I am tired more often, though I am finally getting some sleep. After much prayer I am falling asleep and sleeping well. No more tormenting thoughts and dreams. It helps that I take a hot shower to relax my body and pray while I'm in there, then slip right into bed. So sleep is good, but it never seems like enough. LOL. I am actually more comfortable physically. I *think* she is engaging into the hips, taking some pressure off.

Overall, I am doing well (since I've had a few people ask). Like I said, I have been sleeping better - less tormenting thoughts. I do not blame myself anymore and I don't carry as much anger and hostility. I actually feel sorry for them. I feel sorry that they were both so needy that they didn't even think about the people around them, their kids included, when they made these decisions. I feel sorry for my ex because she's missing out on the boys. After she left from her weekend visit the boys were fine. They actually just talked to her on Monday, only because she wanted to to talk to them and they said sure. They haven't asked to talk to her at all. They are moving on, and I am sure that hurts her.

On the other hand, it brings peace to my heart. To know that they'll be okay. I am very proud of them. And, honestly, proud of myself. It's definitely getting easier to know that each day that goes by I am getting stronger, we are getting stronger, and we'll be better than okay.

So, yea, things are crazy and making my head spin now. But, everything is good.. .. ..