Monday, July 13, 2009

Busy busy busy....

This weekend went by entirely too fast. I have been non-stop since ... awhile!!

Thursday was a good day. I worked the farmers market during the evening, so I got out of the house and got some OT. YEA!! Afterwards a few of us went out for a few drinks. It was the first time I had hung-out with one of them and we had a great time. She's a people watcher (and commenter) too so that was a riot.

Friday night we had softball. Of course it was against the team that spanks us every time. They used to be in a higher league, but registration was down and only one league formed this season. So we got our spanking and then chilled out after the game for a bit. I went home and got ready to hang out with my friend Mandi. We have been friends since grade school, but don't seem to see each other nearly enough!! We had such a good evening though! We both made a promise to try and do it more often! No excuses!!

On the way home from there I messaged B.... Long story short, I went up to where he was staying and we had a nice long talk. Cliff's Notes: I am giving him another chance. He knows he was wrong, he knows I won't put up with it again, and he knows he has a good thing and better now blow it. That said, I didn't rearrange my weekend for him. I still kept all my plans and saw him around those things. He needed to know I was serious and that things aren't "all better" and completely healed!! So ... we'll see where that goes....

So anyways ... Saturday. I was so excited to get to meet my friend from Maryland!! She's doing a cross-country trip and stopped in Turlock to visit with me and another friend of ours. She was so absolutely genuine. Just like I've always known her to be!! We hung out around the pool (even through the rain ... yes, RAIN??!!). Then met some of T's friends and just hung out and laughed for a bit.

After that I headed back to town to a GTG with work folk. We ordered the UFC fights!! Whoohoo. The fights were good and a lot of fun. Good friends, good food, and good entertainment!! LOL. After that I headed to a friends birthday party. The bar he chose was a complete dive, so not much dancing or doing anything but watch over your shoulder. But it was his birthday and so we were there to celebrate with him.

Sunday was a great day, too. I will actually make a post of it's own for the highlight of the day ... SOCCER!! Yes, I am playing soccer again. After that I crashed out. Between the weekend and then the game I was just spent!!!

This week is another busy one ... I need to go see Momma Ardene and then Wednesday B is back for his grandma's funeral. Friday morning I fly out to Phoenix for the weekend!!! Whooohoooo!! I can't wait for my mini-vacation!!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

So, yep, time to update I suppose ....

It's been quite an overwhelming week. I had an amazing visit with Nikki and her family. We had a great visit. Some of my favorite moments were sitting out back with the fire pit, just relaxing. Shopping was fun too ... nice to have girl time!! We also went to Kings Island, a really cool theme park. The roller coasters were awesome. It's been too long since doing that!! Overall it was just a super great visit. Very relaxing and much needed ... and a good distraction ...

... which, of course, was over when I got home Monday morning (2 a.m.). The house was so empty and quiet. And you can't miss the boys rooms. And I just crumbled. I miss my boys so very much. People say "It'll be so cool ... no kids for six weeks!!" Um, not really. I have never been away from Logan more than 3 days, so this was huge. We are on day 10 or something and I MISS him. Tomorrow is his 5th birthday, too, which just makes it harder. And Jo ... I can't even think about that. Ugh. I lost it when I put him on the plane. Just hysterical. I called my mom, begging her to tell me I was doing the right thing. I wanted to run down the tarmac and grab him and not let him go. He called me the other day, talking to me about how nervous he is. I wanted to tell him to come home, but I know he needed me to be strong and support him. So I did. I tell you, this is the most difficult, heart wrenching thing I have ever been through as a parent. I know I am doing the right thing for him, but ..... Anyways, I am sure it will get easier. Just counting the days until Logan comes home and at least ONE of my babies will be back....

Besides that I have been good. I was seeing B ... or talking I guess. He is flying down this weekend but I have asked him to make other arrangements than seeing me. He is a good guy with some insecurities and he takes them out on me. Dejavu bad and won't go back there again. I just cannot do that. So I'd rather be single than dealing with someone else's issues being projected to me. I feel bad, because I do care about him and think he's a sweet guy MOST of the time. But even the few bad times are too much for me to overlook, especially this early on. So I'll just be content to be single and see what comes along next.

So the daily bump and grind goes on and on ...

((Rereading this, it makes it seem that I am very down. I really am not. LOL. I feel good about life and where I am at. Just miss my boys. But life is still trudging along and I am still looking forward. Onward and upward always!!))