Cherish the ones you love. xoxo

You never know when you're number will be up, when your time is done. I wish I was with my F right now. He is in Utah, though. With his family, grieving the death of his sister. She was right around my age, with two young children of her own and a niece she was raising. She was out on ... of all days, Mother's Day ... ATV'ing with her husband and oldest son. The ATV rolled on her and crushed her. She died en route to the hospital. It wasn't anything they hadn't done a million times before.. .. .. It wasn't like she was skydiving or bungee jumping for the first time. It was just a freak, horrible accident.

And, even more heart wrenching, he's the third person close to me to lose a sibling in the last year. So much young life, so much tragedy.. .. ..

So remember to cherish the ones you love, because you'll never know when it's the last moments you'll have with them. "I love you" are the three most important words you can share, so do it.

And I learned a big lesson, not just about grieving, but about communication from F the other night. He said he's already tired of hearing "I'm Sorry". He said, "Why do people say that so often, not even just in the loss of someone, but in so many situations in life?? Say what you really mean." So I sat for a minute, figuring out what I really meant. And I told him, "I know you are hurting and grieving. I know that your heart is heavy. I want you to know I am here if you need me and will step away when you need space, and I'll always love you." He looked at me and said, "Perfect" and kissed me and I knew that what my heart felt was just what he DID want to hear.. .. ..

So I have made a commitment to use the words "I'm sorry" very sparingly now. I think too often we DO use it as a scapegoat to not confront how we really feel and not express ourselves fully. So unless I specifically do something that deserves an apology I will not say I'm sorry. I will take the extra few seconds to formulate my true thoughts and feelings and convey that. I think we could all benefit from that honesty.

So, remember to love those near to you and never take life for granted. Sometimes it really is much too short.. .. ..