The Eve of New Beginnings.. .. ..

Today is New Years Eve and I've decided it's the Eve of New Beginnings for me. I decided to make a list of ten resolutions/goals for the new year. And I figured if I wrote them out here I would be more accountable to them. I can count on at least Nikki and Cyn to make sure I'm doing them! lol

10. EXERCISE - I love, love, love my body now. I *think* I've bottomed out and won't lose anymore weight. I am a comfortable size 6, sometimes 4 or 8. But I want to tone my arms, legs, and of course belly. So my resolution is to exercise at least 3x's a week. And to start walking again, at least 3x's a week, also. Not only is it good for my body, but it's good for my soul and will make me healthier overall.

9. WORK BETTER - Not necessarily harder, just better. I love my job and don't always give it the attention I should. So I commit to doing better there.

8. BE A BETTER FRIEND - I feel like I have sucked my friends dry this last year. They have been there for me soooo much, it's my time to give back. So I will let the people that are there for me know how much they mean to me and return the favor better.

7. WORK ON ME - I think I have come a long way this last six months, but I have a lot to still learn about myself and work on. I met someone recently and really wanted to see where it would go ... but then I saw the red flags, the possible "save me" syndrome, and immediately stopped it. THAT is progress for me. So I will continue to work in that. I have been getting to know me more... and, hell, I'm not half bad. lol.

6. SKYDIVE - Yep, skydive. I have always wanted to do it and just never have. SO I WILL skydive this year. Maybe more than once.. .. ..

5. YOSEMITE - The boys need to see Yosemite. It's beautiful and they have never been there. I will take them at least once to Yosemite and we'll go back to Sequoia National Park, too. We are too close to so much beauty to not take advantage of it.

4. SPEND TIME WITH THE BOYS - Jonah says I do a good job of it, but I want to do better. I want to have one Saturday a month that's a play-date with the kids. And at least one Friday night a month for movie night. They are the staple of my life and they need to know how important they are to me.

3. SLEEP IN MY BED - Sleeping on the couch doesn't make the bed any less empty. I need to face that fear, face that sadness, and stop hiding from the empty spaces in life.. .. ..

2. HANDLE THE BIZNAZ - Most importantly, this house. I need to get it figured out and I commit to crunching down and getting it done. It needs to be and procrastinating won't change anything.

1. LOVE MYSELF SO MUCH THAT I NEVER FEEL ALONE - It can get very lonely sometimes, being alone. I want to love myself so much that I never feel alone. That I can sit in silence and not feel engulfed by it. I want to find new hobbies, indulge myself in things that make me happy, and not want or need anyone to make me happy. Now THAT's happiness, right??

So, there it is. My list of resolutions for the new year, for the new beginning. I know that it won't always be easy. I know that I will still have peaks and valley's, but I am hoping the cliffs will be longer, the valley's will be small craters in the otherwise level land, and that sunnier skies are ahead. I KNOW that my actions, my behavior, my feelings, have a huge influence on that and I am committed to making this year the most beautiful, wonderful year I have had. I have a family of two amazing boys that I adore, an extended family full of love and support, friends who are priceless and mean more than words can say, and most importantly, I have ME. And I have underestimated myself and sold myself short for way too long. Time to live up to my potential. Time to celebrate the possibilities and make the best of the life I have. I turn 30 this year and I'm determined to take this new phase of life by the horns and grow and learn and be a better person this time next year. That's my hope, commitment, and excited anticipation on the eve of new beginnings.. .. ..