Finally have a second ...

... but just one, so I better make it quick. LOL

Things have been so busy and hectic lately. I'll go from the back forward, though I'm not sure where I last left off. I'll start with NASCAR weekend.

Which was ... AWESOME!! The whole experience was so cool. We camped out which was a fun experience. The whole lot was full of motor homes, tents, and people passed out all over the place. Constant party from Friday ~ Monday! We got there late on Friday night, but that didn't stop us from hanging out with friends. Come 4:30 we finally went to bed. Saturday was a really nice day. We spent the morning hanging out, chit chatting, and laughing our butts off. Early afternoon was the Nationwide race, so we went over to watch that. Afterwards we went back for dinner and ... well, drinking. (though I didn't drink much all weekend ... drinking really doesn't do much for me anymore) We stayed up until 2:30. The group I was with was absolutely awesome. Lots of great conversation and lots and lots of laughter. We played some dominos and listened to music. They all reminisced and told old stories - which was hilarious. Finally we all crashed in anticipation of the BIG DAY! Sunday was an awesome day! Little did I know we had pit passes, which was soooo cool. Literally I stood a foot from KASEY KAHNE!!! I could have reached out and touched him. Of course, I wouldn't have stopped there and a night of jail was not on my agenda. = ) We walked down and saw his pit ... we got to be right at the stage for driver introductions ... it was so cool. The whole race was a lot of fun. Of course, having your driver WIN always makes the day even better. That night I was exhausted and passed out at 10:00 (a good four hours before the rest of the group). But that was okay ... I neeeeeeded sleep.

Monday was probably one of the BEST days I have had in a long time. B and I had a few hours before he had to be back to the airport. So we were going to go to Golden Gate park. Well, we made a few wrong turns which turned out to take us to the right spot ... a gorgeous beach up near Daly City. It was absolutely breathtaking. We walked along the beach, had a great picnic lunch, and then took a short nap on the beach. Words really cannot express how perfect the day was. The quiet time, the closeness, the relaxation ... it was really what my soul needed. Perfect end to a perfect weekend!

The rest of the week went by entirely too fast. There was dinner with friends and family, the Festa, and packing and preparations to be made.

Friday came all too quick. And now the tears begin again ... Friday I put my babies on a plane. I was a little better about Logan leaving by the time I had to load them onto the plane. I hope six weeks will go by fast and he'll be home soon.

Letting Jonah go, though, became suddenly excruciating. My heart shattered into a thousand pieces as I watched him go down the path into the plane. My son, my first born, my baby, was leaving me. I called my mom, sobbing my eyes out. All I could manage to get out was, "please tell me that I'm doing the right thing". We cried together and she consoled me and made me calm down.

I have to say, I am very glad that I jumped on the next plane out of town. I could not have gone home. To be there without my children ... to have to face his empty room ... I would have lost it. I think this week will be good for me to distract me and give me time to process it all.

So... here I sit in Ohio, getting some R&R with my best friend. So far the weekend has been great. A fun bbq with friends yesterday, the NKOTB concert last night, lunch and a movie today ... I'll write a full update on it all later, but now it's time for BBQ brawts and a firepit in the backyard. Good times!!

Can't Wait!

I can't wait to see the proofs from our pictures!! Sunday was such an awesome day! We went up to Monterey with Tammi and her family. We meandered through shops, looked at the seals (or sea lions? or otters? LOL... even saw one rescued). We had a good lunch and a nice chat just relaxing. Tammi had three sittings (including us) so I got to watch her and R do two engagement sittings. IF I ever get engaged they are doing my photos!! The shots were amazing and you could feel the love and beauty. (I know, I'm a sap). I think our pictures will turn out awesome, too!! We did some on the beach, some on rocks, and a few in a Cypress tree!! The whole day was absolutely awesome!!

Saturday was a great day as well. Logan had his closing ceremonies at t-ball. He got his first trophy and thinks he's pretty hot stuff now!! After that we went to lunch to celebrate, then went home to rest for a bit. The block one up from us was having a block party, so we went over. The kids had a blast in the bounce house. There was yummy bbq, too. AND they invited the sheriff's department and the fire department out!! The kids got to use the fire hose and got soaked! The fireman also showed them the jaws of life and other equipment they use. The Sheriff officers showed the kids the cars, let them use all the lights and sirens, and let them experience (and play with) the handcuffs. The officers were really great with the kids and everyone had a great time! (and a friend gave one of the officers my number, teehee, we'll see if he calls. LOL)

And back-tracking one more day ... Friday night was FUN! Emily and I headed out for the evening and didn't look back! We had so much fun dancing and flirting, laughing, and just hanging out. After the bar closed we hung out with the D.J.'s at Denny's ... an after party indulgence I hadn't done in years and GASP Emily had never done!! The highlight of the night, for me, was running into an old friend/fling from High School. I used to wear his jersey and we went to a dance together ... we chatted for awhile and he got my number. I realllly hope he calls, at least so we can hang out as friends. He's such a sweetheart and I would love to keep in contact.

So that was my weekend in a nutshell. Now gearing up for this next weekend ... Last night Mom and I went and did all the shopping for the NASCAR trip. Just three more days!! Whoohooo!!!

It's the WEEKEND!!

Yea for Friday!! And another busy weekend ahead. Heck, this weekend starts the string of busy weekends to come.. .. ..

Tonight we have t-ball (last game!) at 6:00. Then C is coming over to watch the kiddos so I can go out with friends. Tomorrow is closing ceremonies for t-ball and that's DONE. Sunday is going to be a great day!! We are headed to Monterey with my friend, who is a photographer, to have pictures done on the beach!!! I am sooo excited. They will be such awesome pics to have done right before Jonah leaves. YEA! I can't wait to spend the day with friends and then get the pics done!! Whoohoo!!

And just as a preface to the summer ....

Next weekend is NASCAR in Sonoma and the boys are staying with my good friends Tricia and Mary (splitting the weekend). The following week the boys head off for their vacation and I head off for my week in Ohio. The following weekend I *may* have company. The next is in Phoenix. Then the next in LA ... Then it's AUGUST!! Holy Cow!! And during the weeks I will have my ... woot woot ... pole dancing classes!! I have a feeling this summer will FLY by!!

So, YEA, the day is done ... time to start another great weekend!!

What does it mean??

So I am feeling much better today. Things seemed to have calmed down after the crazy weekend and things feel more in focus again. The bad news of last week has remedied and we're looking forward again. Works been hectic, but keeping me busy. And no more boy drama. Actually, just one boy to deal with and that's why I posed the question in the title.. .. ..

So... what does it mean when you "virtual shop" with a guy?? LOL The guy I'm *talking* to lives pretty far away. It takes airfare or a loooong drive to hang out if we wanted to. So we don't get to hang out. Tomorrow is his birthday and he's going out with friends. SO last night we were talking about what he was wearing out and decided he should wear a tie ... not fully tied, kinda loose... anyways, so today he goes shopping for a tie. And he messages me and starts emailing me pics. To help him pick out the right tie. Now I'm wondering if he thinks of me as potential girlfriend OR girl-friend material???? LOL. I *hope* it's the first option, but who knows. I do know we were up until 1:30 this morning, talking and laughing on the phone again. So that's a good sign...

Anyways, I am trying to NOT over think things (haha, that's an oxymoron with me, huh?) and just enjoy and go with the flow. But it's a lot of fun to have someone to talk to, laugh with, and flirt with. And in 8 days actually get to hang out with!! = )
~~~~~

Wave your hands and SCREAM!!!

Isn't that what you're supposed to do on a roller coaster?? Right??

So things are always a constant roller coaster. I think that it happens to keep me on my toes. I could probably be a ballerina at this point.. .. .. But I keep learning new lessons, growing stronger, and overall feeling better, so I have to believe it's all part of "the Plan" and go with it.

So now to un-confuse you ... here's the last week in a nutshell.

First, last Tuesday I was given some really upsetting news. The best laid plans had all gone to pot and things came to a screeching halt. I was very upset and disappointed. Obviously it all happens for a reason, the rest of the weekend showed that clear as a bell.

Here's the bad, then we'll go with the good.

This weekend was enough to make me want to scream. Friday night I ran into a guy I used to "hang out with". We still see each other from time to time at work. But not socially. Well, my friends and I were out and ran into him. He was ubber flirty and we danced together, talked about 'old times', and he told me to get a hold of him later. So I messaged him after we left to say "it was great to see you, talk to you soon". Well.... his wife messaged me back. The one he ISN'T separated from and the one that is sitting at home with their 2-yr-old and PREGNANT with another!!!!! I was soooo mad. I do NOT want to be *that woman*. I apologized to her over and over and we text back and forth for a bit. Got that all cleared up but I could kill him.... So all that transpired from Friday night - Sunday ... Monday I get a call from Mr. Disappear. He and I were talking again off and on, nothing serious. I knew he was dating someone else, but we weren't serious and neither were they. However, he calls me Monday to tell me he's sorry, can't talk to me anymore, they are serious, he's confessed everything to her, and he's sorry. REALLY??? I didn't care that he wasn't going to talk to me anymore, I cared that he felt the need to be so damn dramatic about it. So, okay, that's done. Things can't get any more bizarre, right??? NOPE. THEN I get a message, not two hours later, from J, the guy I went on the date with. Saying he really liked my company, I'm great, but .... he and his ex are reconciling!!! OH for goodness sakes. Okay, at this point I'm just done. So done with boys. I still have one I'm talking to ... flirting with. He's super great. A lot of fun. But doesn't live anywhere around here. Maybe that's what I need. A little light-heartedness with no dating or interaction. ROFL. I am just done caring or trying as far as that's concerned though.....

SO, that was the bad. But there has been good too!!!

First, the boys and I had a good weekend. Friday I had ball and they got to spend time with Nana both at my game and then at home. Saturday we had t-ball in the morning and then spent most of the afternoon just hanging out together. Lazy days are nice! Sunday we had a graduation party to go to, so YEA something to look forward to! On our way we stopped at the shoe store. Jonah needed another pair of shoes. YES, he outgrew them AGAIN. So we tried on shoes and found a pair that fit with just a thumb between the toes and the tip. A size 10 in mens. Yes, I typed that right, a 10!!!! Freakin' big foot!!! He stands almost as tall as me already. Ugh, he's growing up too fast. I can only imagine how big he'll be when he comes back next year .. .. ..

Anywho, the graduation party was a lot of fun. A lot of good friends and good food. Jonah ended up staying the night there Sunday ... and Monday. And last night his friend stayed the night with us and will again tonight. I love that he has a friend for slumber parties now, even if it's just a few weeks until he leaves.

Speaking of, these next few weeks are going to be CRAZY. This weekend we're supposed to go to Monterey for pics on the beach. Next weekend the boys are staying with friends while I go to Nascar up in Sonoma and then the next week we all leave. Whaaaa!!! Time has surely flown by.. .. .. =(

HOWEVER, everything is going well. The boys are both happy and doing well (Logan has had NO corners this week!). I am doing well and am happy. Things are just .... good. And what more can we ask for??!!

Perrrrfect Weekend!!

This weekend was by far one of the bestest. It started great and just carried through the weekend.

Friday night was softball. We were short and I got to play first. I haven't played first in years!! So it was so much fun getting back over there. I caught a line drive, took a grounder, and caught all but one (in the dirt) throw. I was so pumped and had such a good time. I hit fairly well all night too, which was just the icing. Afterwards a whole group of us went to the pizza place and hung out. The kids were all running around playing games and having fun. It was so awesome.

Saturday started out great. Logan had t-ball at 9 and it was so nice and cool out. Grandma came out to watch his game, which Logan LOVED. He only has two games left and I can't believe the season has gone by so fast!!

After t-ball we went to my friends daughters first birthday. PJ was so flippin' cute. She got a ton of cute stuff and the boys had a great time. There was water to play in and a mini-pony for rides! Logan thought that was so cool.

I must say, I think *I* had the best time of all. My other friend just foster-adopted a baby, who is 11w old. She has had him for 5 weeks, and the final judgement making him permanently part of their family is August 17th. He is so adorable and loves his mommy sooo much. She let me hold him, change him, feed him ... and he fell asleep on me. My favorite baby thing ever!!! xoxo She actually thanked me for helping her and giving her a little break! HA! It was so my pleasure.

We stayed there until a little after 3. Honestly, I was putting off going home until the last possible moment. I figured the less time home between the party and the date the better. Less freak-out time.

So we got home and I cleaned up the house a little. It wasn't really dirty, but it gave me a good distraction. So about 4:30 I started getting ready. I did my hair/makeup first. I figured if I put off getting dressed until last I wouldn't make 100 changes. Surprisingly, I put on the first choice and didn't change!! LOL. The boys went off to Auntie P's.. .. .. and, right on time, J showed up. He came in while I got my stuff and I showed him around. Then we were off....

He was SUCH a gentleman. He opened the car door for me! What?? LOL. We had great conversation on the way to the restaurant, at the restaurant, and on the way back home. He came in for a bit and we talked some more. Spilling our guts, as he later said. = ) He had to leave and I walked him to the door and he gave me the sweetest hug.. .. ..

As soon as he left I, of course, started to run over everything in my head. Mostly wondering IF/WHEN I would hear from him again. I was still playing it all over in my head when he messaged me. Turns out we BOTH had a great time and want to see each other again. He messaged me again yesterday and hopefully sometime this week he'll confirm a second date. I am still nervous and won't count on it until it's settled, but I must say I'm awful excited. He's a very sweet guy, very cute, and I feel comfortable around him. So, I hope to hear from him again soon!!!!

Sunday was another awesome day, too. Jonah decided he wanted to hang out with P and the girls for the day, so he went off to Columbia State Park with them. Logan and I had a full day planned, too! We went to Manteca to visit Cyn at her daughters softball tournament. I realize every time I'm around her how much I miss her and appreciate her friendship. She's very refreshing. Honest, sincere, and heartfelt. So we had a great time chatting. (At least I did, lol). After softball we headed to Modesto to meet up with Erica and her girls. We let them play at the park for about an hour (which my back sooo appreciated ... awesome burn lines, lol). Then we went to BJ's and enjoyed dinner together. I must say, I was broken-hearted. She's moving and I'm not happy about it. LOL. She'll still only be an hour away, just the opposite direction. We'll still hang out (can't run from me Erica), but I was bummed. =( Anyways, we enjoyed our visit and the kids had a great time. Logan loves both her girls and her youngest and Lo were cracking up. And the kids were great ~ They saved me from myself and ate most of the Pazooki before I could devour all of it. haha, my butt definitely didn't need it!!

After that we meandered on home and I got the kids settled and went for my walk. I love walking, it's so refreshing and it's such a nice time with my friend Mary. We get to chit-chat and it becomes just as good for the soul as the body...

After walking I got the boys ready for bed, settled down, and enjoyed the quiet in the house.

I must say, things are brighter and brighter lately and the sorrows of the past seem so far away. It feels so good to be, plain and simple, HAPPY. xoxo