So another relationship has started for me. And I think I'm as tired of my relationships as my friends are. Always someone new I'm excited about and head over heels about. I know my friends are hesitant and tired of hearing about it. Hell I am out of enthusiasm myself.
And I don't have that zest and enthusiasm this time. I am not head over heels. I am not in love. I am, however, very happy and very at peace.
Things with N have been easy. This relationship feels a lot like the last. Those things I was so devastated I was losing are all right here again. N and I communicate very well. We can talk for hours. We check in on how our days are (his are always much more exciting, lol). We are very comfortable with each other. The ease of sharing our time together is so nice.
My brother met him the other day and really, really likes him. He said "This guy is really great. I hope it works". N has a good balance about him. He is a man's-man, being the big-bad cop ... yet he has a heart of gold and treats me like a complete princess. I have NO doubts he would NOT hurt me and will value and treasure me for a long time to come...
He has spent time with Logan and they are the best of friends now. They play Lego's (N bought three sets the other day for them to build together). Now that's all Logan wants to do. He asks when N is coming over all the time. They have a definite bond.
And yesterday I met his daughter. She is 15 and beautiful, sweet, and a lot of fun. We talked some at soccer, and then all went out to lunch together. I *think* she likes me and N says he's pretty sure she does too. I sincerely hope so.. .. .. It frightens the heck of me that I could potentially have a 15y old step-daughter someday, but she is a good girl and I can see us having a great relationship.
So, I guess I will say I'm very cautiously optimistic. I don't want to invest too much of my heart or get my hopes up. I do enjoy N's company very much though and cannot deny that the comfort of our company feels great and is something I long to have long-term.
We'll just keep going day-by-day and see how it goes. I do feel blessed, though. And fully realize and appreciate that truly when one door closes another does open. Normally with greater potential and possibilities than the last!!
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2 comments:
Jenn,
I like the sound of this. You are definitely reigning in your 'romantic' side and dream of love at first sight/head over heels.
Me being who I am, have never been one to believe in love at first sight or head over heels in love, so it always makes me anxious to hear others talk of it (although I know it does happen for some). This post sounds so much more realistic for a positive outcome or at the very least, less heartache for you potentially.
It is entirely possible to enjoy each other's company and GROW to love one another, it's not generally automatic. It's wonderful that he's making such an effort with L and I'm feeling very happy and hopeful for you.
Continue to TAKE YOUR TIME!! It's not a race, it's your life. Enjoy the moments, live your days and what comes will come.
And for goodness sakes, STOP TALKING ABOUT MARRIAGE (said in my nice voice with a smile).
Feel free to not post this if I overstepped. :)
No, you didn't overstep. I truly appreciate your point of view and opinions. You have been such a support to me!! I agree, it's nice to not rush and to just let it happen. THANK YOU for your support and input ... it means a lot to me!
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