Another month...

Another month has gone by. Funny how time seems to just slip away.

So there seems to be so much going on yet so little to share. No guys in my life right now to really speak of. Not even sure what's happened/happening on that front. I know that I am standing up for myself and making sure I am getting what I want/need, which limits the dating pool. Haha. I really don't care at this point. Just too much energy to try to even invest into it. Single really isn't so bad. Okay, that's a lie. Sometimes it is. Overall though it's managable and it's not as bad as a bad relationship. So for now I'm just fine where I am...

The house is officially in foreclosure. Got the notice on Saturday. I will contact the company one more time this week to see if there is ANYTHING they will do. If not I will start packing and wait for them to evict me. I am not leaving until they make me!! I knew it was coming so I am not too sad. A home is what you make it, so wherever I go will be home. The reasons I am upset are very fun and rediculous mostly, so I'll just leave it at that. But moving definitely seems on the horizon.

I have had a hard time lately reconciling that I don't have the family I wish I did. Thanksgiving was spent with me, Logan, and my brother. My mom didn't even bother to come by. Christmas will probably be the same. My friends have invited me to be with them Christmas day, but how pathetic and sad is that??? I just feel ... alone ... sometimes. In the deepest, saddest of ways. I feel most bad for Logan. That my brother and I are basically all he has... I am lucky to be surrounded by awesome friends. I suppose, though, at the holidays you think about how important family is and not really having any ... well, sucks a little. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for all I have. Just feel Logan is being cheated... Which is another whole story and saddness...

Anyways, besides that crap things are good. Work is good and I am overall happy. I have been dieting and will start working out again today. For real, today. I realized I need to tone and no amount of dieting will help that. I will say I am thankful that for a year now I have maintained a size 6/8 and feel good in clothes. Naked, not so much, but clothes hide it all well.

I really am just kinda in a state of limbo right now. I know the responsible things to do in my life, and I know what my whimsical life wants. I just want to leave. Start over. Though I know that I can't. I just want to.

Oh well, I am sure things will get better. They really aren't BAD so I shouldn't be complaining. Just in a funk. It's the holiday's. I always feel this way at the holidays.... UGG.

Miss you Dad...