Time to Play Catch-Up.. .. ..

Wow, I didn't realize it had been so long since I blogged. Guess it's proof positive of how crazy things have been lately.. .. ..

The most pressing issue right now is the impending birth of this little sweetie. She has preoccupied a lot of my time and energy lately, not only with the birth only FIVE days away, but with the fact she was BREECH until just a few days ago. I began going to acupuncture, chiropractic care, and massage therapy to try and turn her. I was doing home remedies as well - frozen veggies on her head, elevating the hips, shining a light at the pelvis.. .. .. you name it, I tried it.

Finally on Friday, at 38w3d, we saw that she flipped head down again. My OB was shocked. He did not think that this late in the game we could get her to go back down, but sure enough we did it! My honest gut thought is the Moxi treatments - acupuncture - did the trick. She would definitely show a strong reaction afterwards. Honestly, though, I am just so happy she turned and I can have the birth experience I have envisioned throughout this pregnancy. VBAC here we come!!!

Nikki - my BFF from Ohio - will be flying in Thursday morning, the same day we are inducing. Erica, another great friend, will be picking her up and bringing her down to the hospital. Hopefully around the time they are getting there things should be starting/picking up. I am so happy I'll have Nikki there to help me through the delivery and the weekend after her birth. It's so amazing to have such a great friend.. .. .. And it's so amazing to have such a great support of friends, like Erica, willing to help make this day so amazing.

M & J are so excited they can't hardly stand it. Hearing their enthusiasm over the phone is just intoxicating. They are so ready to meet their daughter and their love and excitement about her is so heartwarming. I seriously CANNOT wait to see them meet their daughter. THIS is what surrogacy is all about!!!!

As for the rest of life, it's been .. .. .. going. The ex and I ~ well, her girlfriend thought it would be "cute" to post pics of them on a board we both belong to. My ex didn't understand why it bothered me. She said, "I thought you were doing better." YES, I am doing much better, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't still hurt, and throwing salt in the wound is just uneccesary. She said some ugly things to me, many of which I truly believe she means. We haven't really talked since. I filed the paperwork and she's been served so our dissolution of our partnership and issues regarding custody, the house, and other assets should be resolved soon. It breaks my heart to think we'll just fade out of each others lives. But that is how it seems to be headed and it's very disheartening and sad. Not only for the loss of the relationship of 8.5 years, but the loss of a friendship of over 16 years. Moreover, the loss of what I thought would be my forever with my soulmate. It's just so hard to process sometimes.. . .. I still don't understand, probably never will, but am working toward closure there.

On a better note, work is going very well. Things are always busy and always plenty to do. I am bouncing around, trying to get everything done before I go on leave. Only 2.5 days of work before I am off!! YIKES. I received my review last week and was promoted again. I am at the top of the scale for where I can go, so it's quite an accomplishment (in only four years I jumped four classifications and 20 steps!!). I got a small raise, and we have contracted raises in January. Every little bit definitely helps when you're a single mom!!

Through the last few weeks, too, I have come to rely on myself and have strength and confidence in ME again. The main thing I have done is make this 'house' a 'home'. I figure I'm still paying on it and probably will be for awhile (until I can get it sold) so I might as well make it home. "WE" had plans, ways to decorate, etc. and I decided I can STILL do that on my own. So I bought stuff for the front 'living room' (formal dining turned kids playroom) to make it more.... personal. I have hung up pictures and the whole aura is changing. I got some stuff for the back tandem room, too, to make it my frog room as I'd planned. Today I cleaned out that room completely. It was full of boxes that were just dropped in there when we moved in and I was finally done living in suspension. I cleaned it all and have it all ready to make into what my vision was for it.

I cannot really explain how GOOD it felt to move forward on my own. To KNOW that I CAN and WILL be just fine and that my life doesn't have to be less than I wanted because I am single. Sure, I would love to have my "family" back and would love to be a team again, but I am pretty dang strong and good on my own. And it feels amazing to realize that and LIVE IT.. .. .. I guess you never know your inner strength until it's truly tested. I guess I never knew how strong I am.. .. ..

Anywho, I think I rambled on and on a bit there. IF you read all the way through, you are good!! LOL. Thanks for the followers, thanks for the support, and thanks for "listening"!!