Time to Play Catch-Up.. .. ..

Wow, I didn't realize it had been so long since I blogged. Guess it's proof positive of how crazy things have been lately.. .. ..

The most pressing issue right now is the impending birth of this little sweetie. She has preoccupied a lot of my time and energy lately, not only with the birth only FIVE days away, but with the fact she was BREECH until just a few days ago. I began going to acupuncture, chiropractic care, and massage therapy to try and turn her. I was doing home remedies as well - frozen veggies on her head, elevating the hips, shining a light at the pelvis.. .. .. you name it, I tried it.

Finally on Friday, at 38w3d, we saw that she flipped head down again. My OB was shocked. He did not think that this late in the game we could get her to go back down, but sure enough we did it! My honest gut thought is the Moxi treatments - acupuncture - did the trick. She would definitely show a strong reaction afterwards. Honestly, though, I am just so happy she turned and I can have the birth experience I have envisioned throughout this pregnancy. VBAC here we come!!!

Nikki - my BFF from Ohio - will be flying in Thursday morning, the same day we are inducing. Erica, another great friend, will be picking her up and bringing her down to the hospital. Hopefully around the time they are getting there things should be starting/picking up. I am so happy I'll have Nikki there to help me through the delivery and the weekend after her birth. It's so amazing to have such a great friend.. .. .. And it's so amazing to have such a great support of friends, like Erica, willing to help make this day so amazing.

M & J are so excited they can't hardly stand it. Hearing their enthusiasm over the phone is just intoxicating. They are so ready to meet their daughter and their love and excitement about her is so heartwarming. I seriously CANNOT wait to see them meet their daughter. THIS is what surrogacy is all about!!!!

As for the rest of life, it's been .. .. .. going. The ex and I ~ well, her girlfriend thought it would be "cute" to post pics of them on a board we both belong to. My ex didn't understand why it bothered me. She said, "I thought you were doing better." YES, I am doing much better, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't still hurt, and throwing salt in the wound is just uneccesary. She said some ugly things to me, many of which I truly believe she means. We haven't really talked since. I filed the paperwork and she's been served so our dissolution of our partnership and issues regarding custody, the house, and other assets should be resolved soon. It breaks my heart to think we'll just fade out of each others lives. But that is how it seems to be headed and it's very disheartening and sad. Not only for the loss of the relationship of 8.5 years, but the loss of a friendship of over 16 years. Moreover, the loss of what I thought would be my forever with my soulmate. It's just so hard to process sometimes.. . .. I still don't understand, probably never will, but am working toward closure there.

On a better note, work is going very well. Things are always busy and always plenty to do. I am bouncing around, trying to get everything done before I go on leave. Only 2.5 days of work before I am off!! YIKES. I received my review last week and was promoted again. I am at the top of the scale for where I can go, so it's quite an accomplishment (in only four years I jumped four classifications and 20 steps!!). I got a small raise, and we have contracted raises in January. Every little bit definitely helps when you're a single mom!!

Through the last few weeks, too, I have come to rely on myself and have strength and confidence in ME again. The main thing I have done is make this 'house' a 'home'. I figure I'm still paying on it and probably will be for awhile (until I can get it sold) so I might as well make it home. "WE" had plans, ways to decorate, etc. and I decided I can STILL do that on my own. So I bought stuff for the front 'living room' (formal dining turned kids playroom) to make it more.... personal. I have hung up pictures and the whole aura is changing. I got some stuff for the back tandem room, too, to make it my frog room as I'd planned. Today I cleaned out that room completely. It was full of boxes that were just dropped in there when we moved in and I was finally done living in suspension. I cleaned it all and have it all ready to make into what my vision was for it.

I cannot really explain how GOOD it felt to move forward on my own. To KNOW that I CAN and WILL be just fine and that my life doesn't have to be less than I wanted because I am single. Sure, I would love to have my "family" back and would love to be a team again, but I am pretty dang strong and good on my own. And it feels amazing to realize that and LIVE IT.. .. .. I guess you never know your inner strength until it's truly tested. I guess I never knew how strong I am.. .. ..

Anywho, I think I rambled on and on a bit there. IF you read all the way through, you are good!! LOL. Thanks for the followers, thanks for the support, and thanks for "listening"!!

Weekend Recap.. .. ..

Friday - Halloween.. .. .. the boys had a great Halloween, which started early for them. Earlier in the week they got a package from Aunt Nikki. Yummmy candy!! They still haven't opened them yet, but they are excited. One is a gummy frog to dissect and the other is a gummy pizza to put the toppings on. LOL. They are looking forward to it. THEN they got a box in the mail with two bags full of candy from my friend Rebekkah. THEN they got a pail of goodies from the Popcorn Factory from my friend SKD. Spoiled much?? LOL. My nieces came over that night and we took all the kids out trick or treating. They got a good amount of candy and I got a good workout. LOL. Here are my little cuties, the grim reaper and Dale Earnhardt Jr... .. ..
Saturday & Sunday, Fun with Barb and kiddos!! On Saturday we headed down to Fresno to hang out with Barb and the kids, M & Z. Barb is Jenn's (the baby momma) sister-in-law and is about the sweetest woman ever. She and Matt, J's brother, live in Fresno - only about an hour south of us. We have gone over a few times to hang out with them. It is always so much fun, and this time was no disappointment!!

On Saturday we took the boys (minus the baby) to the zoo. It was drizzling off and on, which really wasn't bad. The weather was actually quite nice, but the thought of bad weather deterred others, so the park was so slow and almost all to us!! The kids had such a great time. Lo and M became best buddies and Lo calls M "bubby". He was walking around with his arm around him most of the day! LOL. After the zoo we went back to the house and all the boys played. Barb made dinner - fantastic dinner, btw! We had yummmy chicken and white rice AND pasta and sauce that was amazing!!! The boys watched Hulk after dinner and Barb and I got to chat. It was so nice getting to know her better and just feeling like we were forming a great friendship!!

Sunday we attempted to go get pedicures. Well, nothing opened until 11:00!!! WHAT?? LOL. It was okay, though. We just went back to the house and got the kids so we could spend time with them. We went to Woodward Park to the Japanese Garden, which was AMAZING. The architect did a wonderful job; it was so serene and beautiful. We fed the fish and left some for the ducks if they were to come later. Then we took off for lunch. We took all the kids to John's Incredible Pizza. Oh my, they had a blast. We filled their tummies first then let them play arcade games for awhile. They had such a gooood time. When we got back to the house it was almost 2:30 and time to head home. We had such a good time, though, and promised each other to get together again soon!! Definitely a promise to keep!!

Oh, and best news, MATT DOES EXIST!! LOL. Poor Matt is a pediatric ICU doctor, so he works all hours. The last few times we've been there he's slept through the visit. This time we got to see him for almost 30 minutes total!! Whoohoo!! hehe. He, too, is sweet as they come.

Honestly, the whole family is amazing and has become an extension into our family. I feel so blessed to have the love and support of such amazing people. Jenn's parents, Mike's parents, all the siblings.. .. .. everyone is amazing and not only am we so blessed to have them in our lives but I feel so incredibly blessed to help bring this little girl into a family that is so full of love, respect, and open-heartedness. What a truly lucky child!!!

Only 17 days until they get to meet her, and her meet them! YEA!!!!!

Kid Funnies, Take Two

Okay, so Jonah cracked me up the other night. We have always been open with him about alcohol. He did take a sip of beer once to taste it and HATED it. I think being open with your kids about drugs, alcohol, etc, is important and keeps them from wanting to play with the "unknown".

Anywho, every once in a while I'll tell Jonah "I had a long day, have a drink for me... take one for the team." He laughs and says, "MOM, kids do not drink!!" I always say, "Just testing to make sure you still feel that way."

SOOO the other night we were coming back from Modesto. I turned to go toward the house and Jonah asked why I turned. I laughed and told him that I was driving home. He says... "Oh, duh, I must be drunk." We both laughed and I said, "Jo you TOLD me you don't drink!!" He said, "Well, you told me to take one for the team!!" LOL I laughed so hard I had tears running down my face. He just giggled and said, "That was a good one, huh?" Yea, buddy, it was.. .. ..

Logan spits out funny stuff all the time, though I can't think of one thing right now. LOL. OH he has discovered a new word.. .. .. 'finally'. So now it's 'finally' everything.. .. .. "Mom WE ARE HOME FINALLY"... "Can we eat finally?" ... everything is finally now.. .. ..

OH there was one thing. The other night I got a little upset and was crying. Logan came up to me, grabbed my face, and said - oh so seriously - "Mommy don't cry. Let's talk about it". All I could do is laugh at that point.. .. ..

God love the children and all their character!!

36w Update

Well, first, here's a pic.. .. ..

Here's the run down:

GOOD NEWS: Gained 1 pound in two weeks.. BP 110/70.. Urine was beautimus.. Strep B culture taken and sent off..

EH NEWS: Cervix is CLOSED but "very very soft"..

BAD NEWS: Complete Breech. Complete. Head in my ribs, butt on my cervix with her little legs tucked.

We still have 3 weeks so MAYBE she'll turn. I have read umpteen websites on how to turn her and I'll try (almost) anything. My doctor said NO VERSION, as with a previous scar on the uterus it could be risky. Everything else is worth a try, though. Otherwise C-Section is scheduled for November 20th at 12:30 p.m.

I am hoping and praying she turns. I really don't want another c-section. I know in the end all that matters is her getting here, but I have a vision darn it! I know how I want it to go, how I want this delivery to be. How I want them to meet their daughter.

UGH, any prayers for a turning baby are MUCH appreciated!!!

Exhausted!

Yep, it's the last few weeks of pregnancy. I am tired all the time now. I have period of contractions every day now. Normally around 10 a.m. and 5 p.m. I'll have an hour or two of consistent contractions. Nothing too strong, nothing too long, but just slight discomfort. I know my body is preparing for her arrival, so it doesn't bother me too much. Sleep is becoming more elusive as I have more and more trouble getting comfortable. This little girl is big in my belly and growing quickly now. I can tell she keeps getting stronger and that is reassuring and makes me happy. Next Wednesday is my first internal check; we'll be 36 weeks then. I cannot believe we're less than a month from delivery already.

Just wanted to post a quick update. I'm going to go pop a few tums and lay down now!! LOL

I've created a monster.. .. ..

I have been bad about allowing Logan to come lay in bed with me early in the morning. I haven't been kicking him out like I should. So this morning he tells me.. .. ..

"Mommy I don't want a bed anymore. Let's make it go away and I'll just sleep with you."

Oh DOH time to start sending him back to his bed.. .. ..

29 DAYS TO GO!!!

Holy wow. Holy holy wow. 29 days from today is our scheduled induction date to meet this little girl. Less than 30 days. How in the world did we get here??!! I am a ball of excitement and nerves all the sudden. I want to know how big she is, what she's going to look like, what her name will be (hehe, love you J&M!!) .. .. .. I cannot wait to meet her!! I CANNOT believe we are so close to her parents holding her and snuggling her and big sis S meeting her! Holy wow, the excitement and anticipation have definitely set in. We are definitely on the home stretch and each day is filled with more and more anticipation and excitement!! YEA FOR BABY!!!!!!!